Ever have a day that starts out terrible and it just seems like nothing goes right the whole day? Let’s imagine you get in a fender bender in the morning on the way to work. It’s not too serious, but your car has damage. You go to work after this happens, but when you get to work, you spill your very hot coffee on your white pants. It’s not too bad.You try to rationalize that it’s only on the right side and you sit at a desk, so as long as you don’t get up, you’ll be fine. Around lunchtime you are ready to go home for the day because things JUST ARE NOT GOING YOUR WAY, but you forget about a meeting that you scheduled, and you are 30 minutes late. You’re probably thinking, “When is this day going to end?” Meeting is done. It went well, THANK GOODNESS. Driving home from work, pick up your kids from daycare, pick up dinner, and get home. When you open the food that you just picked up you realize the restaurant gave you the full wrong meal. You can’t wait to go to sleep, right?
The above scenario has happened to me before. All of those things. Hey- it just happened to me recently. Check out that story here: It’s OK to Forget the Shoes.
In general, when you have a positive mindset, you will notice that life is better – notice I didn’t say “easier”, but better. Nothing in life is easy, but it’s all about your perspective. If you truly believe in your mind that things are going to go great, they will. If you truly believe in your mind that you are going to continue to have the worst day, you will. As with anything, this positive mindset shift is not going to happen overnight. It’ll take practice. Is your five-year-old son able to play baseball like Babe Ruth the first time he picks up a bat? No. (If he does, then you need an agent right now!) He is going to have to practice in order to be successful. No doubt Babe Ruth was born to be a successful baseball player, BUT he had to consistently work at the sport in order to be great. This is the same mindset you should have when trying to develop overwhelmingly positive thoughts. Of course there will be factors that will threaten to get you off track, but it’s how quickly you can get back on track that matters. You are born with a great mind, but being intentional about positive thinking takes practice.
Here is what I do in order to prevent myself from getting pulled into negative thinking.
ONE : Get Rid of Negative Influences.
The old saying is true: “You are the company you keep.” I try to surround myself with people who support me – REALLY support me. I delete the people from my life who do not. If someone around me gives off negative energy, I can start to feel it rubbing off on me and I remove myself from the situation. There are toxic people out there, but you don’t have to let them affect you. There is no shame in leaving a situation because you are uncomfortable. Excuse yourself in a respectful manner.
Now, let’s say this person is someone close to you like your sister or husband or a family member. You can’t just excuse yourself from the dinner table or the family altogether, and NEVER come back, can you?
I strongly believe positivity radiates from us to other people. Be so positive yourself that people have two choices:
- Leave because you are so positively annoying OR
- Become positive with you
**New post coming soon specifically on this subject where I dive into describing relationships and your surroundings in general
TWO: Self-care.
Self-care is important to keep negative thoughts, stress and anxiety at bay, sometimes you have to do things for yourself.
If you have children, this can get extremely difficult. I have one child, but I am sure “self-care” time decreases with each additional child because the effort to care for them increases just in time commitment alone.
I’ve thought to myself many times before, “I’ll be happy to get to work, so I can get some ‘free’ time without someone needing me every 30 seconds. My daughter is two. She needs me a lot. The reality is “work” is not self-care. You have to be able to take time for yourself.
Remember this life is about you! And it really doesn’t do those around you any good if you’re not happy. If I want to take 30 minutes to take a bath, my husband knows that my daughter can’t be screaming in the other room. I need to take a bath and be able to think clearly. If I hear my daughter screaming from the other room, I can’t relax.
Make it a goal to spend at least one hour doing something for YOU each week.
It can be something as simple as taking a bath, going for a run, sitting uninterrupted reading a book, or drinking your coffee in silence.
THREE: Reminders and Self-Affirmation.
Daily reminders that YOU CAN DO THIS. Give yourself pep-talks / put sticky notes around the house and office that are positive and supportive. Whatever works for you.
Put sticky notes on your bathroom mirror with encouraging messages to yourself. Or leave them for others and shine a light into their day. You never know who may need to see it.
A couple other small things you can do:
- Set your cell phone background with something that makes you happy or an encouraging post
- Set reminders on your phone to do breathing exercises, to get up from your desk to take a short walk, or any quick activity that helps you relax.
- ASK FOR HELP when you need it! Whether it’s seeking professional help or asking friends and family to help lighten your load, never be too proud to lean on others. And when possible, return the favor. Volunteering or helping others is a surefire way to elevate your mood while spreading positivity
In closing, once you get your mind in the process of immediately thinking positive thoughts INSTEAD of instinctively thinking negative thoughts, you will find that you don’t have to focus on it so much. Be intentional about inviting positivity into your life. After all, life is too short to let negative thoughts and influences get you down. It will eventually become as natural as Babe Ruth playing baseball.
