What’s in a (Nick)name? Owning Who I Am

How do you guys feel about nicknames?  Some can be endearing, some can be offensive.  Either way, most everyone likely has at least one nickname they’ve been given in their lifetime.  

Here’s the story of how I got my nickname.  Is it offensive? Perhaps. But I actually find it quite endearing and can’t argue much with the accuracy of it.

Some background information for you.  I’ve always been a rule follower. I follow every rule. You will never catch me on the wrong side of the law either. 

Perfect example. I’ve been driving since I was sixteen and have been pulled over ONLY once. As a result of what I presume to be a personality that lacks the ability to charm my way out of situations like this, of course I got a ticket that time. I was also seven months pregnant at the time, but the cop cared zero about that. The fact was, I was speeding. For 10 years, I had a perfect driving record, but that officer didn’t care about that either. I normally drive the speed limit, but this day I merged off the highway and was driving as if the county road I was on had a speed limit of 75, like the highway I had just exited. 

I broke the rules.  And I was also not in control of the situation which for me, was very frustrating.  In order to get things to work out in my favor, I feel like I have to be in control. If I know something is not going to impact me positively, I don’t have a problem speaking up. I am in control of my life. Call it selfish, if you must, but I call it courage. In my opinion, there is power in taking control of your life. There is power in saying no. No to drugs. No to bad influences. No to negative behavior. No to laziness. And so on and so forth…

As you can tell, I am a planner and a creature of habit. I have a systematic way I want things done especially when it personally involves or affects me. Now, this doesn’t mean I don’t ever “go with the flow.” It’s just a fact that a lot of people don’t like making decisions. I do because it means I can better control what is going to happen.   

So, how does all of this play into my nickname?  Well, because of my need to be in control I’m admittedly guilty of correcting people when I feel that they are wrong and giving off a strong judgemental vibe when I don’t agree with something. Enter the nicknaming incident…

Several years ago, my cousin moved in with my parents for a couple weeks. I was in college at the time and still living at home. Since all the bedrooms downstairs shared a bathroom, that meant I would be sharing a bathroom with my cousin. 

I came home from class the first full day of him living at our house to find his dirty towel was on the floor of the bathroom, the shower curtain was left open, and the light was left on. I was horrified. My control radar was on high alert.  I left the bathroom clean and now it’s not. I remember marching into the living room where he was sitting on the couch and saying, “This is my house and since you are living here for free, there are going to be some RULES.” 

In hindsight, I was living there for free as well, but that’s not the point.  The point was that he had invaded my controlled space!

He chuckled, but I think he  knew I was being serious because after all, he’s been around me my whole life. He said, “Ok, Alisa. What are they?” 

I said, “the rule is LEAVE THE ROOM HOW YOU FOUND IT.” 

• Dirty clothes and towels go in the “dirty clothes basket” which is in the closet and by the way the closet door stays shut. 
• The shower curtain needs to be closed when you get out of the shower and 
• Please turn off all the lights when you exit the room 

He was probably thinking, “Is this my aunt’s house or a 7th grade classroom?” He gave me a nickname that night which has stuck with me ever since. My maiden name before I was married was Bush. His nickname for me was BUZZKILL BUSH.

My husband, dad, sister, and mom still refer to me as Buzzkill Bush today. My dad, when I tell him that he shouldn’t drink four Mountain Dews per day and that he needs to drink more water. My husband, when I refuse to do something fun because I have to clean, which he will tell you is ALL THE TIME 🙂 

I’ve been planning and trying to control things since I was very young. The day after my seventh birthday party, my parents jokingly asked me what my plan was for my eighth birthday party because they knew I already had it planned. They were not wrong, I did. Now that I think about it, I was creating a system for my next party to be better than the one before. I would think about what was great about my seventh birthday party and what sucked, and I would make adjustments to the plan for my eighth party so it would be the best so far. 

Back to BUZZKILL BUSH though…. I can’t remember the specific year, but I can remember the details vividly. It was a sleepover birthday party with both boys and girls (not sure what I was thinking there or how my parents approved that). Around 9PM, we were geared up in our sleeping bags on the floor with popcorn in hand to watch a movie. My plan for the night was to watch The Little Mermaid, HAHA. My birthday party attendees had other plans and were anticipating a Michael Myers movie. I pitched a fit. That WAS NOT in my plan and I was not about to let that happen. I cried. This was before my nickname of Buzzkill Bush became a thing, but as you can tell my cousin wasn’t wrong. Buzzkill Bush is fitting and appropriate and I’m not mad about it one bit. We watched the Little Mermaid that night. 

I get that not everyone has a funny background story to their nickname(s) or feel that they are fitting.  I’m sorry if that is your experience. I am NOT condoning or making light of bullying or discrimnation of any kind at all.  That is never okay. But for the more light-hearted ones your family and friends have labeled you, I bet if you’re honest with yourself, you’ll find there’s something that does indeed fit about it.  I am 100% a control freak whose tendencies can sometimes be a buzzkill. I acknowledge and own that! It’s something that I’m working on, but let’s be honest, adult-me would still prefer we watch The Little Mermaid.